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Excerpt – Time To Kick Some Old Lady Butt
Time to kick some old lady butt.
And no, I’m not kidding.
Right now, I pace inside a hallway of the Sunset Retirement Community for Quasi-Demonic Women. Like most of Purgatory, this place is all chipped walls and threadbare carpet. A sign at the corridor’s end reads:
Quilting Contest with the Great Scala
Activities Room, 10:30 AM
It’s true that I’m the Great Scala—meaning the only person who can move souls to Heaven or Hell with my igni power—but saying this event is hosted by the Sunset Retirement Community?
Truth is, this building houses a powerful coven of quasi-demonic witches called the Bloody Knights of the Round Table. These ladies can see the future, which they think involves yours truly ending the world in a great demonpocalypse. So I volunteered to judge this contest … and will instead uncover the coven’s plans.
A lady tips her head out into the hall. “Are you the Great Scala?”
I want to reply, how many chicks have red hair, a dragonscale tail, and wear white Scala robes? But I need to keep a low profile. For the purposes of today, I am a bubbleheaded demi-demigoddess.
Blinking hard, I imagine my body’s filled with sunshine, moonbeams, and large air pockets. “Why, yes. I’m the Great Scala.”
For the record, I’m also the Queen of the Thrax, wife to Lincoln, mother to Maxon, daughter of Purgatory’s President, and recent winner of the annual Quasi Enquirer award for the sexiest demon alive.
But I digress.
“We’re ready for you.” This woman is on the shorter side with shiny brown eyes and a wrinkly smile. Her white hair wraps about her head, cotton-candy style.
“Perfect.” I flash her a grin that hopefully says, don’t worry about me. I’m totally not here to snoop.
Entering the activity room proper, I find a boxy chamber with cinderblock walls and—surprise, surprise—more frayed carpet. A dozen ladies sit at a circular table that’s covered with fabric, scissors, and spools of thread. Each woman holds a little quilt that’s about three feet square.
So far, so good. Then I notice a surprising lack of snacks. As in, there aren’t any at all. Good thing I sent my latest assistant, Alli-something, off for cookies already. With any luck, she’ll arrive with chocolaty stuff and soon.
“Thank you for coming here today, Great Scala.” The speaker is Rose, the same woman who greeted me before. Up close, I can see how she—and everyone else here—sports a great little invention called the name tag. It’s a life saver considering how 1) I’m terrible with names and 2) these women all kinda-sorta look alike. In related news, I’m also craving cotton candy.
Ready to roll. [/su_note]
[su_box title=”The Brutal Time” style=”soft” box_color=”#b3d3bf” title_color=”#000000″ radius=”4″]
by Christina Bauer
(Angelbound Origins #6)
Published by: Monster House Books
Publication date: October 29th 2019
Genres: Fantasy, Paranormal, Young Adult
“I love the Angelbound Origins world and just can’t seem to get enough of it!” – The Avid Reader
As the Great Scala, Myla Lewis is the only being who can move Purgatory’s souls to Heaven or Hell. It’s a big job. Too bad Myla goes through assistants faster than a hot knife through brownies. Not that it bothers her much; Myla’s always been a solo fighter.
Then comes the problem of the fading angels. Millions of Heavenly residents are dying. According to a prophecy, the only way Myla can save them is by traveling back in time, meeting King Arthur, and creating her own knights of the round table. The catch? Doing so might end the after-realms in a bloody demonpocalypse.
Myla and her main squeeze, Lincoln, aren’t afraid of taking a few chances (in between kisses). But with so much at risk, the stakes may be too high, even for them. And the biggest challenge of all? Finding those knights.
Because Myla Lewis doesn’t play well with others. At all.
“These books don’t just capture your attention, they straight up demand it. Christina Bauer has created a fascinating and unique world that you do not want to miss out on.” – Bookhalolic Brittany
[su_note note_color=”#eceaed” text_color=”#000000″]Christina Bauer thinks that fantasy books are like bacon: they just make life better. All of which is why she writes romance novels that feature demons, dragons, wizards, witches, elves, elementals, and a bunch of random stuff that she brainstorms while riding the Boston T. Oh, and she includes lots of humor and kick-ass chicks, too.
Christina graduated from Syracuse University’s Newhouse School with BA’s in English along with Television, Radio, and Film Production. She lives in Newton, MA with her husband, son, and semi-insane golden retriever, Ruby.
Be the first to know about new releases from Christina by signing up for her newsletter: http://tinyurl.com/CBupdates
Tour-wide giveaway (US only): Tons of swag!