Whiskers on Kittens

by R.J. Blain
(A Magical Romantic Comedy (with a body count), #22)
Publication date: December 19th 2023
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Urban Fantasy

Synopsis:
The next time a friend dared her to steal something, Kelsie would say no. Should the friend also be a succubus, not only would she say no, she would run for the nearest border faster than a bat fleeing the dark depths of hell.

Under normal circumstances, she didn’t even mind serving community service. It added spice to an otherwise boring day and gave her something productive to do.

Hoping to contain her prankster ways, the judge teams her up with a grouchy wolf of a cop with an attitude problem. According to her virus, Kelsie needs to get the good officer out of his pants. According to her common sense, the last thing she needs or wants is a goody-goody hampering her style and getting in her way.

When they’re assigned to help rescue six kidnapped kittens, Kelsie knows one thing for certain: to create a Christmas miracle, she’ll do a lot more than bend the law—she’ll break it over her knee and unleash hell on Earth while she’s at it.

Whiskers on Kittens can be read as a standalone.

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To cultivate a better understanding of the challenges I faced, I needed to brainstorm why traffickers would want to kidnap infected children. A few possibilities came to mind, all of which annoyed me. If caught at an early age, children could be groomed to fit certain roles. If a wealthy family wanted a dedicated wife for their son—or a dedicated man for their daughter—trafficking a young lycanthrope made sense. Over time, the virus would adapt, especially if the family groomed the chosen lycanthrope child.

The virus would eventually cooperate, as it desired a permanent mate, always.

After stealing a pad of paper and a pen from the judge, I jotted down my beginning notes, which boiled down to the various ways someone with more money than sense might take advantage of a child in the trafficking world. Once I pursued the wealthy family route, I delved into the darker world of criminal circles.

Chicago boasted numerous crime rings with various factions warring for dominance. The last I’d checked, the vampires ruled the roost with one brood setting the general rules of conduct. From time to time, the vampires came out to play when I negotiated.

Sometimes, they wanted to join in and cut a deal—and sometimes, they wanted to make or break deals. I’d played the game long enough I had the names and numbers of several vampires in my phone. I picked the device up off the judge’s desk and eyed it before turning my attention to the angel, who paced around the room, waiting for something. “Is this a good idea?”

Sometimes, asking cut out a great deal of red tape. Other times, it opened gateways to my personal version of hell.

I wouldn’t know until I tried.

Something tickled the inside of my head, and a moment later, the angel giggled. “That would surely introduce some chaos, which is neither good nor bad. You would get results, but I cannot tell you if they are the results you want. Some things you will have to decide for yourself. However, you would test the patience of your wolf quite well with that scheme.”

Excellent. My virus enjoyed the idea of toying with the cop, which would guarantee an absence of boredom from my life until Christmas. “Do I get some slip proving ownership?”

“Alas, according to mortal laws, you do not get to own the wolf without his consent. I recommend either a formal wedding ceremony or a courthouse session to secure his consent. He even has some value on your taxes, although not as much as you might like.”

RJ Blain suffers from a Moleskine journal obsession, a pen fixation, and a terrible tendency to pun without warning.

In her spare time, she daydreams about being a spy. Her contingency plan involves tying her best of enemies to spinning wheels and quoting James Bond villains until satisfied.

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